We Ordered the Narwhal Frappuccino. Here’s What Happened.

May 4, 2017
Keri Horan
Riveted Editorial Board

A few weeks ago, the internet exploded when the Unicorn Frappuccino became a thing. But as soon as they appeared, they were gone. If you weren’t lightning fast, you may have missed out on this pink, sweet, magical drink.

Screen Shot 2017-05-04 at 1.40.20 PM
But fear not! In true Starbucks fashion, a hoard of other fraps have come to take the unicorn’s place—both on and off the menu. There’s the new Midnight Mint Mocha Frap and the seasonal S’mores Frap, which are actually on the menu. But in the mysterious world of the Starbucks Secret Menu, there exist dragons, mermaids, pokemon, and, our favorite, narwhals! To fill the hole in our hearts left by the Unicorn Frap, Janine and I couldn’t resist ordering a Narwhal Frappuccino. Here’s what happened:

1. Our Barista Was Very Nice, But Very Confused.

giphy (70)We knew going into this that we were going to be very obnoxious customers, and we were right. They hadn’t heard of a Narwhal Frap yet, so we had to explain what we were looking for a few times. When they finally understood what we wanted, they told us it must be on the Secret Menu.

2. We Came Unprepared.

giphy (71)We had never ordered anything off the Secret Menu before, so we were unaware we had to tell the barista the recipe, step-by-step. We got out of line, googled a whole bunch, then went back—this time armed with instructions. (For those of you following along at home, order: blended strawberry lemonade, add vanilla bean powder and whipped cream. Blend it, top with more whipped cream, and sprinkle matcha powder to finish.)


3. We Had to Repeat the Order. A Lot.

giphy (72)Not only was the order complex, it defied logic. I don’t know who came up with the idea of mixing strawberry lemonade, vanilla, and matcha, but it made for a very confusing order. The barista asked “Are you sure?” at least four times.

4. We Were Judged. A Lot.

giphy (69)I get it, lots of people are waiting for their coffee and the last thing they want to wait for is someone with a complex order. And this is the height of complexity. So with furtive, apologetic looks, we tried to speed the process along as quickly as possible, while being overly nice and offering a good sense of humor about the whole thing. We also went during the off-hours so there wouldn’t be very many people delayed by our order. Still, those who were waiting for their drinks beside were pretty much looking at us like “you’ve got to be joking.”


5. We Were Given A Final Advisory.

Narwhal frap“I’m not sure how this is going to taste,” our barista said, reluctant to hand over the drink. “It’s okay! We just want to try it!” At this point, we were seriously invested. “Okay,” he said. “But don’t blame me if it doesn’t taste very good.”


6. We Took a Lot of Pictures (With Books!)

Narwhal frap
Of course, prior to tasting, we had to take pictures. Armed with our Narwhal Frappuccino, as well as what our barista described as “the closest you can get to a Unicorn Frappuccino at this point,” we headed back to the office and took pictures with our favorite narwhal and unicorn picture book, Not Quite Narhwal! Added bonus: glitter stickers.

7. We Tried It!

IMG_2820 2The moment of truth! After all that, we finally tried it. It was…sweet. Very, very, very sweet. The Unicorn Frap reportedly had nearly 60 grams of sugar. Our guess is the Narwhal Frap has just as much, if not more. We wouldn’t get it again, but we’re glad we tried!


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